I am by no means a parent but this peaked my interest when I saw a video dissecting the parenting style in my favorite show, Bobs Burgers. In the video titled “The Philosophy of Bob’s Burgers” by Wisecrack, the parenting style of the main characters is put into focus. Linda and Bob, the parents in the show, actually use an old style of parenting called alloparenting. Alloparenting is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “an individual other than the biological parent of an offspring that performs the functions of a parent (as by temporarily caring for an infant)”.
Alloparenting in Bob’s Burgers and the Implication of this on the Belcher Children
Bob’s Burgers premiered in 2011 when the internet was more focused on the end of the world in 2012 than parenting styles. I know this isn’t everyone but my TikTok seems to occasionally give me videos on how to gental parent and then a couple more videos of older parents saying that you shouldn’t do that. It seems to me that in today’s society people are very focused on the different parenting styles and what is the best way to parent. This is very interesting and allows for us to take a look at the unusual parenting style of the Belcher parents. Alloparenting is very clear in this series, and is shown by the many adult figures in the children’s lives and the viewer gets to see how this affect the emotional development of the kids. The Belcher children have an emotional intelligence much higher than that of their peers and that is because they are exposed to a large variety of people. They learn a lot of life lessons and skills from unsuspected people. For example, they learn to be grateful for their father’s contribution to the family by Marshmallow and friends, a group of transvestites (term used within the show), and they also learn the importance of community and being helpful from the One Eyed Snakes, a biker gang. Because the Belcher kids have such a large community of adults that will care for them, they are allowed to explore and experience places they wouldn’t have. This style of parenting also allows them to grow their own moral compass and values instead of being forced into the ones put in place by their parents. The Belcher children’s high emotional intelligence and empathy is largely based on the parenting done by the members of the community. The Belcher children are a lot more accepting of any person because Bob and Linda are trusting of the community to keep them safe. For example, the Belcher family at one point befriends a criminal Mikey. Mikey teaches the Belcher children over the course of the show that hard work and dedication can help you turn your life around. They watch as Mikey robs the bank, gos to prison, gets released from prison and then gets a job, friends, and a stable lifestyle. The Belchers also befriend a local police officer, Sergeant Bosco, in the same episode. Sergeant Bosco becomes a very important person in the Belcher children’s lives. Throughout the series when the Belcher children run into legal trouble or need law enforcement, Sergeant Bosco is there to help free of charge. This is evident in an episode where the children believe that one of the residents at a retirement community’s pearls got stolen from her nephew. Because of this type of alloparenting the children are not afraid to call this crime in and they also do not have to go through the hoops of other adults. The Belcher children befriended to people on completely different sides of the moral world but learned important lessons and gained a trusted adult in both.
Alloparenting Psychology
While you might think this is a new style of parenting it was actually the very first parenting style ever used by humans and what helped us evolve. With the increase in working parents and the pandemic causing people to become isolated, parenting has become a big point of stress in many households. This causes a decrease in mental health in parents as well as the children. Darby Saxbe, associate professor of psychology and director of the Center for Changing Family at the University of Southern California talks a lot about this. In a CNN article she states that being isolated because of the pandemic has caused an increase in “maternal depression and anxiety, postpartum depression, and anxiety and depression among children.” She talks about how many parents try to parent their kids in the nuclear family, 1950s way but that this is actually toxic. Although the individualistic form of parenting is easier to accomplish it creates a bad environment for not only the parent but for the child. Saxbe encourages people to find a village/community of people to help parents raise their kids. Many people have the help of their own parents or siblings but it is important for the children to reach out of their own family’s values and thoughts to then develop their own unique thought process and beliefs.
Final Thoughts
After reading about alloparenting and watching a lot of Bob’s Burgers I can say that in my opinion this type of parenting is the way to go. Although it is uncommon it has many benefits and produces a well-rounded compassionate child. I find it very interesting that television and film can teach us things we didn’t even know existed and I might be wrong but I don’t think the writers though of this type of parenting when originally writing the show. What other kinds of lessons can we learn from television and film without knowing it?
I love Bob’s Burgers, I never thought about their parenting style, so this was a really interesting read